Jan's Introspection

me and my latest - whether they be plans, insightful thoughts, ideas or realities.

Saturday, August 31, 2002


Thursday, August 29, 2002

time capsule - n : for preserving historical records to be discovered at some future time

I'm using this definition because it was the shortest one I found. My favorite time capsule is ............................................. THE FREEZER!

"What?," you say. Why the freezer? Oh, because in my freezer is some food that was prepared by Susan while she was here. MMMMMMMMMMmmmmm - I just ate some blueberry pancakes and loved them more than when they were first cooked.
A couple days ago, I referred to Tigger and Eeyore being my favorite Pooh characters. I'm going to examine that attraction here and now.

Tigger is very energetic and I am often the same. That's a good thing. I don't bounce around like he does (or do I?), but I do like to stay active even if that just includes wrestling around on the floor with my dogs. This energy level is a natural part of me.

Eeyore is veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery melllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllow. He takes everything slow. I think that's quite healthy also. Taking things slow and simply slowing down once in a while is something that I've worked on in my adult life. Essesntially, I've trained myself to slow down for those moments where it seems like the best method.

It's all about balance! - finding the balance - In summary, as many opposites often are, one is not bad with the other being good; they each have their time and place which when used appopriately, creates a very balanced effect.

Wednesday, August 28, 2002

Voila! Beans are the answer! I am eating one of my tofu/bean burritos at this moment. It's good. I have come to the conclusion that at least for the beginning of my integrating tofu into my life, I must camouflage it with something mushier than itself. (smile)

Life is good.

I'm hungry but don't really have a taste for anything. I'm eating because I know I must before I go to work where I seldom have time to sit for longer than 15 minutes; that is, if I have time for that. Yes, I could clock out and take a half hour or hour lunch break, but on a 6 or 7 hour shift, that seems like a waste of time, don't you think?

Tuesday, August 27, 2002

Refried beans are mushy and I like them. Why is it then that I find the texture of tofu difficult to enjoy or should i say savour? I have no desire to replace chicken with tofu; I am simply trying to bring tofu into my life as my main source of protein. Today, I cooked tofu and onions in a fajita marinade. I choose to refer to this concoction as tofu fajitas - makes sense, doesn't it?

It wasn't bad. As I was eating my first fajita, I noticed that when i take a bite of the more mushed stuff, it's actually more pleasing to the palate than if I take a bite of a chunk of tofu. With that in mind, along with the fact that I enjoy refried beans, I think for my next fajita/burrito I will mix my fajita concoction with beans.
Think about this ....... Which cartoon character do you like or identify with? I am quite fond of the Pooh characters with emphasis toward Tigger and Eeyore. It's interesting because they seem to be "polar" opposites.

I have a friend who likes Tweety very much. She may identify with this bird or she may just find this bird attractive. I tend to think that she indentifies. Here, I will examine why. First though, is Tweety a female or male? I don't know, so for the sake of simplicity, I will refer to Tweety as if she were female.

If i remember correctly, Tweety is always running from Sylvester and is very clever in doing so. My friend, I don't know exactly when your like for Tweety began, but I think it's possible that you are attracted to Tweety because of her clever ways of escaping Sylvester. Could it be that Sylvester represents your ex-husband?

Monday, August 26, 2002

What day was that? It was Saturday - a good day to take off! Susan and I took the day off on Saturday - It was nice. She didn't study and I didn't do any outside or inside projects. It's funny because I tend to feel a bit guilty when I don't accomplish something useful. I know that's crazy though because we had a great day. She thought about going to a movie, but we already had a rented video. We watched the rented video, "Hannibal." I thought it was good in the sense that it was entertaining. Susan wanted to get the brain scene out of her mind, so we ended up also going to a movie. We saw a light hearted movie, "S1m0ne." It was good.

Our day off was not only about entertainment and no work. We also took the day off from eating healthily. I ate microwave popcorn with the rented video along with some miniature reese's. At the movie, we ate some french fries. After the movie, I ate ribs. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm - I don't feel guilty about the eating. I feel good about it. I think that living healthily includes not depriving yourself totally of anything that you enjoy. Simple.

Tuesday, August 20, 2002

Oh my! Wait 'til you hear about what I had for dinner today....

...here it is - Sukiyaki Udon, Miso soup and Steamed Kale

Contents: zucchini, blue lake beans, broccoli, bunched carrots, tofu, kabocha squash, snap pea, shitake mushrooms, yellow onion, miso, scallions, parsley, wakame sea vegetable, kale and udon noodles

My thoughts: It was good. Eating healthily, truly healthy foods does take some getting used to. I believe it is a process which is well worth it.

Saturday, August 17, 2002

.................... feelin' a little lethargic today ..................... what a nice day

Thursday, August 15, 2002

The temperature is beautiful this time of day!

I let the dogs out! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha...................................................... you really have to be in my head to appreciate that one.

Tuesday, August 13, 2002

...stay with me now... While I was unemployed, people kept telling me, "when one door closes, another one opens." Although I did appreciate their intentions, I also became tired of hearing that. I've thought about it for a while - some people say it differently too - they put the control in "God" by saying something to the effect of when God closes one door, he opens another. Here's my thought: remember, you have to be partially in my head.

Perhaps those doors are always there and that we are in charge of opening them. Usually, we don't choose to open them while we are in a comfort zone. By comfort zone I mean comfortable with what we are doing with our lives - not necessarily because we like it but because we've been doing it for a while and it's comfortable. Most of us, yes I'm including myself, are afraid to make changes or take risks. Taking risks, branching out, trying new things.... they're required in order to grow! I'm trying to remind myself here, that I don't have to wait for a "tragedy" or a bump in the road of my life to try something new. Let's keep flourishing !!!!!!

Sunday, August 11, 2002

Guess what? I enjoy cooking ....(to an extent). Last night, Susan and I prepared TOFU-PESTO LASAGNA; the recipe was taken from the book I mentioned in an earlier blog. This recipe is specifically for those with blood type A. It was yummy! I made it a little less healthy by adding more cheese than what was suggested. Here is the recipe:

1 pound soft tofu - mashed with 2 tablespoons of olive oil
1 cup shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese / or part skim ricotta (we used moz)
1 organic egg (optional)
2 packages frozen,chopped spinach or fresh, cut-up spinach
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon oregano
4 cups pesto sauce (or less)
9 rice or spelt lasagna noodles (cooked) -- we used the regular ones this time because we didn't have access to the others
1 cup water

Mix tofu and cheese with egg, spinach and seasonings.
Layer : 1 cup sauce in 9x13-inch baking dish.
Layer: noodles, then some of the cheese mixture, then sauce.
Repeat, and finish with noodles and sauce on top.
Bake in oven at 350 degrees F for 30 - 45 minutes (or until done - do you really need to be told that?)

We layered ours a little differently - If I remember correctly, we had a layer of noodles on the bottom and the top layer of noodles just under the light layer of cheese which is on top.

Also, be aware of how oily your pesto sauce is. Ours was quite oily, so we probably could have used less oil in the tofu mixture. Next time, we will probably add some type of mushroom (not domestic because they are on our "avoid" list. ;)

Thursday, August 08, 2002

I know what it feels like to fly. I used to do it all the time as a child. Like a bird. Really! I did it. There was a cow in the dungeon too - I don't recall naming her. She wasn't "my friend." I think my sisters and mom and dad thought she was my friend, but I don't remember it that way - she just 'was' - nothing more. Teddy and Priscilla were real too. They were friends to me and Nat. We took care of them and they took care of us. I don't remember how or when they left us.
I didn't go to work today. This won't become a habit; I feel a little strange being home right now. I woke up tired and had to get up for a dentist appointment. Due to my dedication and love for my dogs and myself, I walked Bravo at 6 this morning. Alley had been out all night and caught up with us. I didn't walk our regular amount though; I was tired. Of course I went to my dentist appointment still feeling tired. It was successful - my tooth is gone. Ick! It was ugly too. My appointment was at 9:20 and the total job was finished by 9:30. That's a good thing! Since it was so early, I decided to go home instead of to my friend's house who lives near the dentist office (and my work place.) I took a nap - had a headache - mostly, I was just tired. I set my alarm for 12:30 with every intention to go to work. When the alarm went off and I still felt lethargic, I decided to call "in" to work. I did just that - Life goes on, eh?

Interesting - did I call in sick or call out sick?
I'm so proud of me! I have my computer set to go directly to my blog when I get online. It's much better than what used to pop up here with many pop ups!

Wednesday, August 07, 2002

2001/2002 is truly the time period of unemployment in my family. I don't seem to be very concerned when the "bad economy" is the big news of the day because I believe fluctuation is a good thing. I still don't credit the economy or September 11th to the closing of Cedar Plantation. Now, a quaint little Catholic school has closed in Michigan. This closing has directly affected two of my sisters. One who will not only be looking for employment but also for a school for her daughter to attend.

Call me naive but I still don't totally credit our economical situation to this situation. It seems that if word had gotten out earlier, fund raising could have taken place sooner. I know the parishioners of this church are very good fund raisers. On the other hand, if word hadn't gotten out in the manner that it did, parents wouldn't have taken their children off the enrollment list in fear of getting them enrolled in time elsewhere for the coming school year. My point is that it seems that once again where we would just love to say, "Oh, it's the economy," the appropriate people are simply avoiding owning responsibility for their own actions or lack of action at the appropriate time.
I have received another response to my synergy blog. This is from my closest friend, Susan:

"Your mom is correct in that synergy can be both positive and negative, but destruction is not always a negative thing."

Here are some examples she gave me: blasting a hole through a mountain to build a road, toppling an old building to replace it with a new one, scuttling a ship so that it can become an artifical reef

This is why I "talk." I love responses! Think, think, think ...... it's a good thing. My new word for this day is scuttle (verb).
Scuttle - to cut a hole in the deck, side, or bottom (of a ship) in order to sink

returning to the word, synergy..... Once again, Mom has set me on the right path! Here is her response to my "thought."

"I beg to disagree with you, oh lady of words!!! What source made you decide that synergy is only positive? Take two sticks of dynamite and together their synergistic effect would be twice as destructive - thus the conclusion since destruction is a negative thing.... negative synergy - right?"

I welcome all comments to my blog. I Love My MOM!

Tuesday, August 06, 2002

Here's a word that I've been hearing lately: syn·er·gy (n.) pl. syn·er·gies
The interaction of two or more agents or forces so that their combined effect is greater than the sum of their individual effects.

I like it!

A thought --- since it is a positive thing, wouldn't it be redundant to say "positive synergy?"
What a spectacular weekend! Friday night, I had been contemplating staying up late to clean my house but decided to go to bed at a decent hour instead. I went to bed at about 11 pm and received a call from Susan at about 11:30. She lives over 1,000 miles away, so when she told me that she was on her way to my house, I did not believe her. Ten minutes or so later, I was convinced. I actually felt a bit upset at first due to the fact that I had "no" warning. I thought my house was in too much of a wreck to have a visitor, so I went into tazmanian devil mode and cleaned up a bit. I quickly realized that my house wasn't in as much of a "state" as I had thought; then, I was able to relax a bit and enjoy the idea of the wonderful surprise Susan was giving me.

Sunday, August 04, 2002

I've been thinking about the twins all day - I should call them. It's their birthday. I usually do think about my family members on their birthdays, but I don't often call them or give them a card. I don't know why exactly - hmmm - maybe I should at least send an e-card of some sort. I don't think they check their email very often though. Maybe I'll call them tomorrow.

Saturday, August 03, 2002

and........................................ (are you in my head?) why isn't the past participle of drink, drought?. I think today and I thought yesterday. I drink today so I drought yesterday - ha , ha, ha, ha, ha, - Of course, we could say --- I have to drink a lot today because I was in a drought yesterday. ???

I sure hope you're laughing or at least smiling. The English language is a wonderful thing, isn't it?

Thursday, August 01, 2002

The cat is out of the bag! What is the best way to deliver important news? I tend to just blurt things out sometimes, but I prefer being careful.
In this blog, you may have noticed my references to turning points and change.

Yesterday, I told Mom and Dad that I will probably be moving next year about this time. I'm posting it here now for the rest of you who love me and may
be interested. I wasn't keeping it a secret, but wanted to divulge the information when it seemed right. For whatever reason, yesterday while chatting with Mom
via instant messenger it seemed right.
~~ smiling ~~